Today, Barb is: ready for the day to be over.

well.
its been more than years since i have been here last.
lots have happened.
quick recap!

did Brawl of America. Made new friends and fell even more in love with roller derby.
met a new friend from the Windy City Rollers. Hoosier Mamma. One of the few derby players not from the state of minnesota that i have gotten to know and call a good friend.

let see...what else has happened?
the bank i was working for was shut down by the FDIC and then sold to another bank.
i got cancer.
i went to africa.
i was let go from the bank.
they tried to deny me unemployment and the state came back to tell them that they had to give it to me. (haha suck on that bank!)
oh yeah, you saw that whole cancer thing?

yeppers.
Hodgkins Lymphoma.
did chemo. lost my hair. had lots of tests done.
was officially cancer free in December 2010.
was let go from job in November 2010. yeah they timed that real well.
CT scans. PET scans. bone marrow biopsy. heart and lung tests. fine needle aspirations.
more info?

caringbridge.org/visit/barblind

you can go there. it tells a bit more.
let see... what else happened?
i went to africa. Tanzania to be exact. 3 weeks of amazingness.
i loved it and can't wait to go back in a couple years.

oh yea, i joined a rollerderby league.
now before you get all crazy excited, i am not skating. i am part of the officiating staff.
I am an NSO. that means non skating official. i like it. i like it alot. i get to help with derby.
i have made new friends. i get to know more about derby but not enough that it hinders me from being able to sit back and enjoy other teams playing.

i just got a new job that i will be starting in about a week or so.
still living with the parents. not so horrible when i was going through chemo treatments or after getting let go from the job and being on unemployment.

and now.
now i just got back today from another appointment.
i have to go in for another biopsy on friday.
i am starting to REALLY hate the term 'just to be on the safe side'
nothing good has ever come after those words.

my very first doctor appt with my enflamed lymphnodes
just to be on the safe side, let me get a second opinion
just to be on the safe side, lets get an ultrasound
just to be on the safe side, lets get a CT scan
just to be on the safe side, lets have you do a PET scan
just to be on the safe side, lets have a fine needle aspiration
just to be on the safe side, we should do a full biopsy.
and you should know what happened after that
(hint. it was cancer if you didn't know)

so now the
just to be on the safe side, i am going to send you to a ear nose and throat dr.
just to be on the safe side, we are going to do a biopsy on the back of your tounge.

apparently the back on my tounge, tonsils, voice box area has something going on so on friday i have to go in.
is this what my life has turned into?
everytime i go to any dr i am going to be waiting in dread to hear those words.
just going to be waiting and waiting until the other shoe drops.
i don't want to turn into that person.
i can't turn into that person.

i don't know what will happen on friday.
hopefully it will be nothing. i am praying it will be nothing.
so here it goes!